


More than words

by Kurtswish



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, kblreversebang2014
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-19
Updated: 2014-07-19
Packaged: 2018-02-09 13:01:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1983975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kurtswish/pseuds/Kurtswish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In Kurt’s final semester at NYADA, Carmen Tibideaux discovers his previously unknown talent for writing. She is determined to win her school accolades in a prestigious contest and pairs him with Blaine Anderson another talented find. They must work together to create something to make Carmen proud or face her wrath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	More than words

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Kurt Blaine Reverse bang based on the lovely art by Somebodyholdyoutooclose.

 

Kurt Hummel sat shifting anxiously in his chair. Across from him the secretary continued her work unmindful of him her fake nails clattering on the keyboard with a strange syncopated rhythm. He glanced up again at the clock; it was fifteen minutes after their appointed meeting time. He had been sitting here for thirty. Carmen Tibideaux was not one to be kept waiting, but she ran on her own time and really he couldn't complain. He just wished she would hurry up so he could finally know what the meeting was about and hopefully stop fretting over the hundreds of ideas, each more horrible than the last that his brain supplied the longer he waited. It wasn't every day that you received a cryptic email from the Dean of NYADA informing you of a meeting in her office. Most students went their whole lives never once setting foot in there. Kurt was one of the few who not only has been in that room but on more than one occasion. He was always nervous and each time turned out better than he could have expected in the end. He just hoped this time wouldn't be different.

 

Rumors had flown around the school before that Kurt was one of Ms. Tibideaux's favorites. They saw his surprise audition to the school during the winter showcase as just another invitation to perform. Kurt knew otherwise; it was her final test, one he was proud to say he had passed. When the next showcase had rolled around without even a hint of an invitation for him to perform, the rumors seemed to dissipate.

 

Kurt glanced up to the clock again when the door finally opened. He had just enough time to notice a young man leaving with a sweet half formed smile on his cute face before he heard an authoritative yet bored sounding voice call out, "Mr. Hummel if you will join me please." Kurt had just enough time to gulp down the lump that formed in his throat knowing that his time had finally come before he walked into the neat office.

 

"Have a seat Mr. Hummel," she said gesturing to the chair across from her. Kurt lowered himself carefully into his seat, watching the dean the entire time. Her face gave nothing away, the serious look etching it being the norm for her. He had hoped to see a smile, something to indicate he wasn't about to be kicked out of the school so close to graduation.

 

After a minute of tense silence Carmen Tibideaux finally spoke, "I am sure, Mr. Hummel that you are wondering why I called you here today?"

 

"Yes ma'am, I have to admit I am rather curious." He answered earning half a smile from the woman across from him.

 

"Yes, well," she began her face falling back into its normal visage of seeming disdain for the world around her. "You are in Professor Banks' playwriting class," Kurt nodded gulping down the sick feeling rising in his throat. He had only been in the class three weeks and could think of nothing that he could have done in that time to get him removed from the class; they had only turned in one assignment. He had only taken the class to fill his tech theatre credit, at that moment he wished he would have chosen costuming instead.

 

Carmen continued, either unmindful of Kurt's discomfort or reveling in it. "As I am sure you are unaware, Professor Banks sends me each students first and last assignments so that I can note progress and improvement in their files. Don't look so surprised, I take the success of my students seriously and part of that means nurturing those with talent and pruning those who are not thriving. After reading the first scene you submitted to Professor Banks..."

 

Despair radiated through Kurt, he didn't want to be expelled one semester shy of his diploma. He knew he had to fight. "I know I can do better, Madam Tibideaux..." he began before being cut off by the woman herself.

 

"Oh, I am quite sure you can, otherwise I wouldn't have called you here. Is this the first scene you have written?" She asked her hands now steepled in front of her in interest.

 

Kurt felt like he was on a roller coaster, not knowing whether he was rising or falling the next moment. "Um, no ma'am, I started writing a musical in high school, but it was just a silly thing."

 

"Well you are going to try again." She said sternly.

 

Kurt blinked at her for a moment. "I'm sorry, but I don't understand."

 

"And that my boy is why I am going to explain it to you." She said a small smile on her face but a twinkle in her eye. "Every year the New York Playwrights’ Guild holds a contest open to college students. Normally we don't recommend anyone from our program because we tend to focus more on performance than the technical aspect of theatre. However, every once in a while there is a student, or two, who surprise us. You, Mr. Hummel, will be submitted into the musical category this year."

 

Although her tone left no room for argument, Kurt had to point a very big flaw in her plan, "But, ma'am, I don't write music, I could perhaps do a libretto but there is no way I can write an entire musical score. Give me notes and I can sing it, I can come up with words and emotions; but coming up with new melodies..."

 

Carmen Tibideaux leveled him with smile that housed mischief and a bit of knowing, "And that my friend is why you will be working with another great find, Mr. Blaine Anderson."

 

Kurt rushed down the street as fast as he could. He hated to be late, and Miss July had demanded they stay until the routine they were working on was beyond perfection. He wouldn't have been so annoyed if it were his mistakes that had held them back instead of Cassandra's newly appointed nemesis in the class (though this girl deserved the title more than most, she would rather flirt and gossip her way through the class than actually work.) As it was, Kurt was currently running ten minutes late and in their quick email correspondence he hadn't thought of exchanging numbers, so he had no way of letting him know. He barely slowed down as the coffee shop came into to view.

 

Kurt pushed his way into the shop and began scanning the room, although he had no idea who he was looking for. From a table near the window a cute guy with dark hair waved in his direction. He looked vaguely familiar. Kurt smiled his apology and motioned towards the counter, hoping his intent was clear. By the time he was walking over to the table and the young man his heart had finally began beating normally again.

 

"Blaine?" Kurt asked to make sure he wasn't just about to join the wrong stranger for coffee.

 

"Yes, it's great to meet you Kurt." Blaine beamed back to him motioning to the chair across from him.

As Kurt settled himself across from him he said, "I am so sorry I am late! Miss July..."

"I am very familiar with her, no need to explain." Blaine laughed. "I figured as much anyway, you said in your email you had dance right before."

Hearing Blaine laugh eased the rest of the tension his tardiness had brought. "So about this project..." Kurt began.

"Can't that wait for a few minutes; if we are going to work together I would like to get to know you first. I don't think we have had any classes together before."

"I don't think we have, I was a midyear acceptance so my course track has been slightly different. I graduate at the end of this semester." Kurt told him before testing his coffee.

They talked a few more minutes about classes and swapping anecdotes from their time a NYADA.

Blaine blinked back at him, "So wait; that was you? I thought your name sounded familiar. You were the stuff of legends my freshmen year. I honestly thought they were making it up. So you really auditioned at the Winter Showcase?"

"Yes," Kurt laughed at Blaine's shocked expression. "And yes, I did beat the Rachel Berry at Midnight Madness."

"Then you must be phenomenal, have you seen her Fanny Brice? I didn't think anyone could do that role justice, but it was like she was made for the part," Blaine said clearly star struck.

Kurt rolled his eyes out of habit. "She would agree with you," he laughed. Blaine looked slightly offended so Kurt went to explain. "I am not disparaging her, she can be a lovely friend, but she always said that was a role she was born to play. She is one of my best friends, and I love her, but modest she is not."

"Oh," Blaine said reaching up to rub the back of his neck, "I had no idea you were actually friends with her. I don't know anyone from school that she is still in touch with, she was only here that one year."

Kurt smiled hoping to ease Blaine back into his bubbly expressive mood. "She did kind of throw herself into rehearsals, and many of her friendships suffered because of it. I knew her from high school and we lived together so I was spared for the most part."

 

Once Blaine smiled again Kurt felt free to continue. "I hate to rush things but I have to run back to NYADA to shower before I head into work. I had intended to take care of that beforehand but..."

 

Blaine blinked back in surprise, as if he had forgotten why they were there in the first place. "Oh of course," he said, "so do you have any idea what direction you want to go with this project?"

 

Kurt couldn't hold back his sigh, "I don't know. I mean this isn't something that I really thought about before, not seriously. I have been wracking my brain since Monday and nothing. Please tell me you have some ideas."

 

Blaine's smile was captivating but his words did little to ease the knot in Kurt's stomach. "I don't know. I mean it's a musical, so it should be a love story right? Those are my favorites anyway."

 

"As romantic as that sounds, I just don't know if I am up for it. I mean what more could we do that hasn't been done to death." Kurt told him, trying hard not to roll his eyes. The idea of writing a typical love story bored him; added to the fact that he could almost guarantee those leading man roles would never go to him soured Kurt to the idea.

 

If Kurt thought Blaine's enthusiasm would be dampen though, he was wrong; if anything his eyes lit with a new excitement. "Your typical boy meets girls stories have been done before, but what if it was boy meets boy? Hear me out," Blaine added when Kurt opened his mouth to interrupt. "What if we just have the leads both be men, no message, no overarching theme of equality, just a love story where two men fall in love."

 

Kurt couldn't help but look Blaine up and down where he sat across from him. He bit his lip trying to hold back his excitement. Luckily years of training had paid off and Kurt merely nodded saying, "I'll think about it. Let me get your number. That way when inspiration does strike I can get ahold of you."

 

Kurt’s mind flitted from one idea to the other, none holding his interest for long. Nothing seemed right, nothing seemed good enough, and most importantly nothing seemed like something he could write. He was ready to concede defeat a week later, something he didn't do lightly, and tell Madam Tibideaux that he couldn't do it; her faith in him was misplaced. He had resolved himself he would visit her office after his acting class was through.

It was a typical day of scene work, but it would change everything for Kurt. Before Lance, Jessica and Henry were even done with their scene, Kurt rushed out of the room, his fingers itching to type the scenes that were playing out in his head. He had something he needed to do first. He grabbed his phone and scrolled until he found Blaine's name tapping it while he hurried through the halls. It should have surprised him when Blaine answered after the second ring, but Kurt was too caught up in his own excitement to notice.

 

"Kurt! I'm so glad you called." Blaine said his voice full of cheer.

 

"Cyrano," Kurt told him his voice high. His hands were shaking and his breath was coming in quick pants.

 

"What?"

 

Kurt took a deep breath as he pushed the doors open onto the bustling streets of New York. "I want to do a modern adaptation of Cyrano de Bergerac for our musical."

 

Kurt wished he could see Blaine's face, see what he really thought about the idea. He was quiet over the line and Kurt was about to babble on about what a perfect idea it was when Blaine finally broke his silence. "Like Roxanne set to music?" he asked.

 

"No, not really." Kurt's footsteps stuttered and he nearly was bowled over by the gaggle of women behind him. "I hadn't thought about that, I forgot that movie existed honestly."

 

Doubt began to creep in on him, but Blaine interrupted his thoughts. "Please tell me more."

 

Kurt could hear his excitement growing so he pushed aside his doubt and explained. "Well I've been thinking about it and nothing came. But today in class some people were doing a scene from Cyrano and it just hit me. We can do what you suggested and make the leads men. I'm not saying copy the entire play or anything, but just the idea of the sharp tongued yet flawed man helping someone woo the object of his own affection. I can just see it and... I need to write this Blaine."

 

Kurt waited with bated breath for Blaine to speak. He didn't know what he would do if Blaine didn't like the idea. "Well, then go write it Kurt and when you are to a place we can start working on songs call me. I still live in the dorms so I can get a practice room when we need it..."

 

"No need, I have my own place... just... I'll call you." Kurt said his voice higher once more with his raised excitement. He was really doing this.

 

"Sounds great, I can't wait to hear from you." Blaine said and Kurt could almost hear his smile through the phone.

 

It was like nothing Kurt had ever experienced before; his mind raced with new images and words and his fingers stuttered on his keyboard trying to keep up. A notepad lay beside him ready with notes hastily scrawled across it in no discernable order. He felt possessed, characters coming to life in his brain all vying for his attention. There was no order though and after hours of half written exchanges he knew that it was not going to work if he continued this way. He needed a plan; he needed to reign in the story he had to tell.

 

Kurt stood stretching his sore muscles as he went to relieve himself, and tried to calm his over excited brain. As he washed his hands he knew what he had to do; he couldn't do this alone he needed a sounding board for his ideas. Luckily Carmen Tibideaux had provided him with one. Kurt pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed the most recent number.

 

"Hello?" A groggy voice answered after several rings.

 

Kurt looked up to the clock and was startled to see that it was after 1 in the morning. "Shit Blaine, I'm sorry. I didn't realize how late it was, I will just let you go and talk to you tomorrow."

 

"No!" Blaine's voice rose through the phone before dropping to a whisper. "No, I'm glad you called."

 

Kurt couldn't hold in his laugh. "Don't be ridiculous Blaine, you were asleep. It can wait."

 

"If you called me it must be important." Blaine retorted and Kurt could hear shuffling in the back ground.

 

"Honestly it can wait," Kurt sighed, "I am being silly, I can just as easily write out an outline or something... but... can you meet me tomorrow. I need to go over this with someone and..." Kurt let the words hang; it was hard for him still to outright ask someone for help. He needn't have worried though because Blaine was quick to offer his support.

 

"Of course, I would love to see what you come up with. Just let me know a time and a place and I will be there."

 

Kurt bid him a quick goodbye. He glanced momentarily to his bed before returning to his desk in the corner where his laptop sat, now dark. He knew he couldn't sleep until he purged himself of some of the story; so he woke the computer and opened a new tab. With a new focus he began typing out an outline as the clock ticked closer to the dawn.

 

Kurt’s alarm woke him what seemed like minutes after he dragged himself to bed, his body stiff but his mind relatively quiet once more. He was tempted to roll over and let sleep take him away again, but he knew that he could not miss any more classes after skipping out on two the day before. He pulled himself from bed and trudged to the shower hoping the warm water would help wake him up. As his mind awoke, Kurt marveled at the fact that while the characters were still there anxious to be written, they had dulled to a niggling at the back of his brain as opposed to the raging onslaught they had been the night before. Everything seemed more manageable today; that is if he could survive four classes before crashing back into his bed.

 

He was running slower than usual that morning, with his lack of sleep and having drunk the last of his k-cups the night before. The subway was packed and he missed his usual train. Kurt barely made it to his first class on time. Luck was against him still, as they were working on ballads in voice class and Kurt had to continually fight to stay awake during the slow and meaningful songs his peers performed. He was just glad his sheet music was still in his messenger back from the class before; otherwise he would have been in even more trouble. His master class in stage combat didn't go much better, nor his movement class that followed. He was dragging and each of his professors had given him disapproving looks, something Kurt was unaccustomed to. He was just ready for the day to be over with so he could crawl back to his apartment and into bed.

 

The end was in sight as he made his way across campus to his last class. His eyes blurred with exhaustion, but he forged on, until a firm but gentle hand grabbed his elbow. The pull against his limb normally would have had him jumping and spinning, but in his daze all he could manage was a hitched breath of surprise that came too late to really show his shock. He turned to see Blaine standing into beside him, a soft look of concern lining his face.

 

"Blaine?" Kurt asked. He had never seen him around campus, at least not since they met. His brain couldn't come up with an explanation.

 

"Did you even sleep at all last night" he asked instead of answering whatever question Kurt was trying to ask him. Kurt blinked slowly back at him and Blaine thrust a coffee cup into his free hand. "Here, I think you need this."

 

Kurt took in Blaine's smiling face as he raised the cup to his lips. The sharp taste of coffee and chocolate exploded in his mouth as the warm liquid filled it. He couldn't help the sleepy grin that eased onto his lips at the taste. "I didn't know you were a Mocha man as well," he said.

 

"I'm not dummy, I got that for you. I saw you earlier when you were sleepwalking to your last class. I tried to talk to you, but I guess you didn't hear me. I thought you might need a pick me up."

 

Kurt could still feel the easy smile on his lips. "Thanks, I really, really do," he told him. Blaine walked beside him in silence as they made their way to Kurt's final class of the day. As they stood at the door Kurt raised the glass and said, "Thanks again. If you’re not busy tonight do you want to come over and read over what I have?"

 

Blaine reached out and rubbed Kurt's arm in an oddly familiar gesture, "I would love to, but are you sure you are up for it."

 

"I will be," Kurt told him, "just give me a few hours so I can catch a nap. I'll text you my address."

 

With a few more words they parted, Kurt to his class and Blaine to his own, wherever that may be.

 

A knock at his door awoke Kurt from where he had fallen asleep on the couch, his bed seeming too far away after his commute home and his stop at the corner store for much needed coffee and a few other supplies his brain could think of. His mind still hadn't fully woken up by the time he opened the door and he blinked back his surprise at seeing Blaine standing there. Once he thought about it a moment, he vaguely remembered sending off a text to Blaine with his address telling him to meet him at his apartment at 7.

 

"Did I wake you?" Blaine asked when it became apparent that Kurt was not going to say anything.

 

Hearing him speak urged Kurt to shake off the last vestiges of sleep from his brain. "Yea, but don't worry about it I needed to get up. I was the one to invite you over anyway." With a wave of his hand he invited Blaine in; he would be a proper host once he had another dose of caffeine in him. Kurt made his way to the kitchen and Blaine trailed behind him. "Coffee?" he asked pointing to the sack where several boxes of k-cups were still nestled. When Blaine agreed he began pulling them out to let him pick from the variety Kurt had picked up. As the machine worked its magic, Kurt turned once more to the man standing in his kitchen. It was a rarity that Kurt had other men in his home, his few visitors being his friends who largely consisted of women. Rather than get caught up in the odd sight of someone else in his space, Kurt turned away to find something to do with himself.

 

Blaine seemed oddly relaxed and that made Kurt more anxious. He flitted to the fridge for something to do. His eyes roved over the contents hoping that he had something in there to make the action look more natural. They landed on a cheesecake that Kurt must have bought in his stupor at the store that afternoon. A sigh of happiness and relief escaped him as he half moaned and half asked, "Cheesecake?"

 

Kurt looked over at Blaine to see his face twitch in an odd way, but pushed the thought away when Blaine politely said, "Yes, please."

 

Their coffees ready and large slices of cheesecake apiece, Kurt led Blaine to the couch before retrieving his laptop. Blaine was there to work after all.

 

Once they settled in, and Kurt had savored two heaping forkfuls of the smooth desert, he booted the machine to get to work. He distracted himself with his food, while Blaine's eyes darted back and forth across the screen. It was only the outline there, Kurt was not yet ready to show the actual work he had done, but Blaine hummed appreciatively every once in a while. Kurt just wished he knew if it was due to what he was reading or to the culinary perfection they were sharing.

 

Kurt had just set his plate down on the coffee table when Blaine's "Wait, what?" startled him.

 

"What?" Kurt asked unsure what could have made Blaine sound so scandalized.

 

"I love how you want to open it. And the idea of having both Burke and Chris telling their feeling in songs. I like what you have come up with..." Blaine said, his eyes not wavering from Kurt's.

 

"But..." Kurt urged looking away.

 

"But, why in the world do you have Rocco end up with Chris?" Blaine asked.

 

Kurt wanted to roll his eyes at Blaine. It should have been obvious, but apparently he needed it spelled out for him. "One; that is essentially what happened in the play, Roxane marries Christian. Two, no one looks twice at a man like Burke, not seriously anyway."

 

"Okay I don't know what play you have read, but Christian dies well before the play is over. And once Roxane realizes that Cyrano was the one writing the letters, and saying all those beautiful things to her, she knows that she really only loved him. I understand why you don't want to kill off Chris, but they should have their happy ending, isn't that what Broadway is all about?"

 

Kurt was surprised by Blaine's passion for the subject. He stared at him for a moment but was unsure what exactly to say to him. “But unfortunately that is not always how the world works Blaine.” Kurt told him eventually.

“That’s true,” Blaine agreed with a sigh, “Sometimes you don’t get the guy of your dreams. Sometimes he doesn’t notice, or is too far out of your league to even try, sometimes he loves someone else. But this is not the real world. This is a play, no, even better, this is a musical. Anything can happen here, the only limits are the ones we set, because in the end; this is our world. In our world, you can catch a glimpse of the man of your dreams from afar and by the time the curtain falls, he can love you back and you can live happily ever after. That is the magic of theatre.”

Blaine’s eyes had sparkled in such a way as he talked with so much fervor, it couldn’t be contained to just words. His hands danced in the air before him, driving home every point he made. His enthusiasm was catching and Kurt suddenly wanted to live in this world that Blaine painted where everything was a possibility It was with a sharp jolt to his chest that he realized that he could, at least he could bring the world to life, he just had to write it.

“I think I might be able to give that a try.” Kurt murmured.

 

 

From that moment on Kurt saw a lot more of Blaine, he kept popping up between classes to chat or bring a coffee, they would meet every couple of days at Kurt's apartment, and once Blaine discovered Kurt worked at The Spotlight Dinner he began showing up there as well when Kurt was working. It would have been nice, wonderful even, but it was becoming a problem. Kurt knew well the telltale signs that were beginning to emerge. Looks lasting longer than polite, the smiles that just appeared for no reason, the light and giddy feeling that try as he might he couldn’t squash. Kurt Hummel had a crush and that was never good news. It wouldn't have been so bad, but Blaine was always friendly, always free with his light touches and open smiles. Kurt maybe could have dealt with everything else Blaine, if not for the fact that he was so damn talented. They had only finished the opening number of the play, but Kurt could see that Blaine was phenomenal. The music seemed to flow out of him and Kurt had had a hard time trying to keep up with the sheer force that was Blaine creating. It set his pulse racing and left him with a hollow empty feeling when Blaine walked out the door.

 

Kurt had dealt with his fair share of one sided romances, that was one reason Cyrano's story appealed to him so much. He knew how the story would play out, just as it had so many times before. He knew Blaine was gay but also knew that that did not guarantee he would like someone like Kurt. They never did, at least once they knew him. He knew romance was not in his cards, and learned long ago that casual hookups in dark rooms when the loneliness got to be too much was all he would be able to satisfy his romantic yearnings with.

 

Blaine may have been able to convince Kurt that Cyrano in the form of Burke may be able to have a happy ending; but Kurt knew not to hope that he would be blessed by the same fate. He had a feeling that whatever controlled his story was not as much of a hopeless romantic at heart as he was. Fate, or god, or whatever would not grant him the happy ending he sought, Kurt was sure.

Still Kurt couldn’t help getting caught up in the whirlwind that was Blaine. He found himself letting down his walls when Blaine was around. He laughed more, smiled more and let his walls come down a bit more with each meeting with Blaine. He tried not to let himself dwell on what it all meant and just enjoy the friendship they were forming.

They sat on the floor of Kurt’s tiny apartment, take out boxes abandoned on the coffee table laughing as they read through Kurt’s latest scene.

“I guess you could say you are my moose,” Blaine barely got out through his laughter. “Oh my god, Kurt where do you even come up with the things Chris says? Between that and, ‘Did you know the library just lets you borrow books?’ I can never wait to see what you write for him next.”

“I’ll let you in on a little secret,” Kurt sighed, “I channel my step brother when I write Chris. Well him and my friend Sam. I didn’t realize it at first but he is a lot like them. Sweetest guys you could ever meet, but not always the brightest, at least not in the conventional sense.”

“Do you think he will be offended?” Blaine asked with a smile.

Kurt hesitated, he rarely talked about Finn anymore. Enough time had passed that most of the people he knew in New York probably didn’t even remember he once had a brother. No one brought it up, no one asked how he was doing anymore. Kurt kicked himself for broaching the subject. It wasn’t Blaine’s fault he decided. “He died a few years ago, so that won’t be a problem,” he said, trying to make light of the situation.

“Oh my god, Kurt I am so…”

Kurt cut him off, “Don’t. Please don’t say you’re sorry. I know people think that is the right thing to say but, it isn’t. Unless you caused it you have nothing to be sorry for.”

“Okay, that’s true,” Blaine began. “It’s just, I have a brother, and while he can be a pain in the ass, I love him. I just hate that you had to go through that, that you are still going through that.”

It was true, the hurt never went away. He still felt the pressing loss of Finn at some moment throughout the day. Sometimes it was only the guilt he felt as he lay in bed, that he hadn’t thought of him that day, others it was near constant reminders of the boy who left the world too soon. Kurt closed his eyes, willing himself not to show weakness and cry. When he felt control of his emotions he opened them to see Blaine staring at him. “Thank you.”

Blaine’s smile eased some on the pain that had renewed in his chest. “Just think,” he said, “if this thing does well, the world could enjoy at least part of him. He could live on forever in the part you wrote for him.”

Kurt liked the thought and hearing Blaine say that eased some of the guilt he felt for using his memories of his brother in his script. By the time he shut the door behind Blaine that evening he even felt excited about the prospect.

It had been an evening of frustration. Working with Blaine was great, except that it made it harder for Kurt to ignore the thoughts he had been trying valiantly to squash. Writing the balcony scene together was a test Kurt wasn't sure he had passed. Sitting on the floor notebook in hand while Blaine waxed poetic about some guy he liked, the words he would use to tell him how he felt if he was brave enough, and punctuating each statement with a shy smile was like a punch in the gut to Kurt. He tried to push it all aside as they wrote the song together and the effort paid off, at least partially. The song was amazing, so much so that Kurt was stunned they had actually written it. After a little arguing Kurt had persuaded Blaine that Burke needed to be written as a countertenor, heeding his father's advice to write the roles he wish were out there. It added so much dimension to that song in particular; Burke's lines contrasting with Chris' baritone that followed it. When Rocco's lines answered, a tenor that seemed to compliment both the others, everything felt complete. It was the first time Kurt thought they really had a solid chance of winning this contest. If only Kurt could get his emotions under control and not screw it up.

It had just hurt so much hearing Blaine speak about someone else. Each word was like a knife blade slicing at Kurt's heart. A small part of him wanted to yell at the world, ask why it couldn't be him, why no one would ever look at him and say such sweet and romantic things. He lay in bed, long after Blaine had left for the day, not able to quiet his mind. Kurt rolled over onto his side with a huff. "I know exactly how Burke feels," he thought squeezing his pillow tight. A moment later the thought came again and Kurt sat up in a rush. "I know how he feels." He said to the empty room before scrambling out of bed to grab his notebook. Flipping to a blank page, he set to work.

Kurt channeled all the feelings, all the hurt and jealousy onto the page, into words.

I'm standing here

Just as I am

Nothing can change me.

I see you there

And my heart aches

Why don't you see me

I'm not perfect

I know I'm not

But I have dreams too

To love someone

To hold them close

But no one ever sees

I'm standing here

my heart is full

Full of love for only you

If you would just look up and see me

On and on Kurt wrote letting the words flow, emptying his heart onto the page. Risking more than he ever dared before, knowing that Blaine would see the words, but hoping he wouldn't know their true source. After months of bottling up all the things Blaine made him feel, Kurt released them and used them. Like Cyrano, like Burke, Kurt gave his words, his feelings, his heart for someone else to use. They may not be used to woo the object of his affection, but in a way they were. Just as Finn was molded and used to help create Chris; Blaine had slowly been morphed into Rocco. It was unconscious at first, but soon Kurt caught himself styling Rocco's lines with the same cadence Blaine himself used when he talked. As the song progressed, Kurt came to a new resolve; he may never have Blaine, but he could ensure that Burke, the character he had modeled so much after himself, down to his voice, could have his Rocco; not by death or default but by choice. They would have a happy ending, even though Kurt couldn't even bring himself to hope for more than an unbroken friendship.

He didn't know what the song would sound like after Blaine worked the score, but Kurt didn't let that hinder him. He wrote until he felt spent and tears streaked his cheeks. The song finished, Kurt wiped his cheeks dry and renewed his resolve. He would keep his feelings to himself for the benefit of the play, the competition and the safety of his heart.

Writing the song didn't really help Kurt to distance himself from his feelings like he had hoped, but it did make working so closely with Blaine a little more bearable. It was an odd feeling though when Blaine took those word that only Kurt knew were written just for him and transformed it into a song. Not just any song though, into the number of the show. Listening to Blaine play through it when it was finished, Kurt couldn't help but think that it was the Let It Go, the On My Own, or the Defying Gravity of their show. Why Can't You See, had the potential to be the song that everyone knew, that everyone loved. Hearing Blaine sing it, while demonstrating made Kurt's heart squeeze in his chest and tears prickle at his eyes. It almost felt like he was a parent watching his child march into school alone no longer needing to be sheltered. They may still be his feelings, his emotions, but it was no longer only his song, it was the worlds’.

Weeks passed and together they made great progress on the play. The first act was complete, ending with a kiss between Chris and Rocco as a heart broken Burke looked on, Why Can't You See closing the act completely. Editing the dialogue, Kurt couldn't help but be proud of the work they had done together. He knew they still had another act to write, but Kurt was looking forward to more time to devote to the endeavor once his final semester was complete. He had applied for graduation and all that was left to do was not screw up the final weeks of the semester and graduate.

He was not however, expecting the email that came through the next morning.

Kurt stormed through the halls of NYADA ignoring all those he passed. He was intent on only seeing one person. He didn't even pause at the receptionist but stormed his way into the office unannounced. She had to know this was coming.

"Denied?" Kurt shouted. "You denied my graduation! What in the world did I do to deserve this?"

Madam Tibideaux didn't seem started by his entrance, or particularly perturbed by his reaction. "Mr. Hummel, did you even read the entry form you filled out?"

"The what?" Kurt asked in no mood for her games.

"The entry form you filled out for the playwriting competition. It states plainly that it is solely for current students enrolled in the school. So you can imagine my surprise when I saw your name come across my desk seeking to leave this establishment."

Kurt was struck dumb for a moment. "But... this is my last semester, I thought..."

"Now Mr. Hummel, I can not bend rules set up by New York Playwrights Guild." She said.

"I know that, but I have bent over backwards, jumped through all the hoops for this school. I have always given 100% in everything. My family is coming in... How am I supposed to pay for..." Kurt said his voice getting louder again.

"I would tread carefully Mr. Hummel, I am about to offer you a great opportunity and who knows what you may risk with your response..." Carmen said with a hard edge to her voice. Kurt immediately sat down trying to reign in his outrage and listen to what she said. "Every few years a student comes through my school that I see great potential in. I push them, I challenge them, and I give them a rare honor. You may graduate in December, if that is what you really want. You can give up the contest and leave with your standard BFA in musical theatre. It is still from NYADA and that will impress most. OR you could stay another semester and continue your project with Mr. Anderson, and while you are at it, you will be taking special master classes set up by me. In doing so you will be afforded the right to graduate with a degree in advance musical theatre studies. Just think of it Mr. Hummel semi private lessons with the best of the theatre world, it does have its appeal, does it not?"

"Semiprivate?" Kurt asked partially intrigued but still skeptical.

"One other student is being afforded this right, but I am sure you will get along just fine."

Kurt had his suspicions but kept them to himself. It would be a stretch financially, but luckily Kurt hadn't spent the last of his college fund. It might mean no trip home for Christmas, and putting his family's trip here on hold for a few months, but in the end it had to be worth it. He finally felt recognized for his talent, even if he thought she was only doing it to keep him around for the contest. He paused a moment to watch Madam Tibideaux, the way she held herself stiff as if in anticipation for his answer, but her eyes sparkling with something Kurt couldn't place.

"I am honored to accept. Thank you." He finally said before nodding to her and walking out of the office his head held high.

Two days later students watched as Carmen Tibideaux made her way through school regally, gold envelopes held in her hands. All movement would stop when she passed, the halls were quiet before her, and erupted in murmurs after her. Breathes held as she entered a classroom and handed the invitation to a lucky student. Exclamations punctuated her walk out the door again. It was a ritual everyone knew and freshmen were warned about, though told under no uncertain terms not to even hope for it. Most students knew the honor would never fall to them. Kurt had long ago given up hope himself, until Carmen stood in front of him her eyebrow raised waiting for him to accept the golden paper.

"Thank you." He whispered afraid his voice would abandon him. Like that she was gone, her hands empty once more.

Kurt was just leaving that same class, already exhausted having to field questions from his fellow classmates when a familiar voice called his name. Kurt turned around to see Blaine running down the halls beaming at him.

"Is it true?" He asked his smile bigger than any Kurt had ever seen before.

He nodded still brimming with the excitement of being invited to perform at the Winter Showcase finally. "You too?" he asked.

Confusion colored Blaine's face but his smile never faltered, "What? No. Of course now I am really excited because I get to watch you perform without worrying about my own song. So what are you going to do?"

They walked out of the school together as they talked. "I have an idea, but I don't know yet. Can I get back to you on it?"

Blaine bumped his shoulder against Kurt's, "Of course dummy. I'm sure you will be amazing whatever you do."

Kurt pondered over what he should do for the showcase. He knew what he wanted to do, it was just a matter of getting up the nerves to do it. Blaine asked every time they met if he had decided but Kurt could never bring himself to say it out loud. It would be such a huge step, and it would be exposing himself more than he could have imagined. He wouldn't be hiding behind some character either; it would just be him and the music there for everyone to behold. He wanted to ask his dad for advice, but Kurt knew what he would say. Go for it. To his dad it was simple, if Kurt wanted something all he had to do was go for it. Burt hadn't seen the times he had failed since coming to New York, he hadn't even heard but brief mentions. Kurt wanted to prove that he was brave, that he was Burt Hummel's son; so he channeled his father's voice telling him to go for it and the next time Blaine asked he answered. "I want to do Why Can't You See Me."

With Blaine's blessing Kurt printed out the music for the song and he began rehearsing for his one real shot at the Winter Showcase. They didn't meet to work on the show together as all of Kurt's free time when not at school or work was spent practicing with and without the orchestra. They exchanged a few words, mainly about their master classes next semester, Kurt's suspicions being proven right, but nothing more. Blaine ended each conversation with how much he was looking forward to seeing Kurt perform. Kurt mostly wished he wasn't going to make it

As the showcase drew closer, Kurt grew more excited. In celebration Burt and Carole had promised to fly out to watch and bring Kurt home for a Christmas he was sure he was going to have to miss. He craved the familiarity of family and even his home town. He also craved the distance from Blaine. He had missed him the last couple weeks as he prepared, but he couldn't help but think that the distance would help to ease the ache Blaine left behind.

Kurt sat beside his father, watching the other performers in their turn. He had spied Blaine at the back of the room, but only gave a wave before swallowing his fear and turning back to his dad and stepmom. There was no turning back now, he had to perform and he had to do that song. When each name was called before his, Kurt forced himself to relax, but it became harder each time. He should have known he would be going last. When Carmen Tibideaux finally called his name, he approached the spotlight with as much grace as he could.

"Hello, my name is Kurt Hummel and I will be performing a piece called, Why Can't You See Me. It is from an as yet unnamed musical written by myself and Mr. Blaine Anderson." Kurt introduced.

The music began and Kurt looked up to the audience, but before he could begin singing his eyes caught on Blaine. He was smiling gently at him and with that look the distance was gone. All that Kurt had spent months tramping down came back to him with the swell of the music. Rather than fighting it, Kurt did the same thing Carmen had asked of him so long ago, he showed his emotions. When he opened his mouth they weren't just words anymore, he sang his feelings; laid them bare for the world to see. In the back of his mind he hoped that Blaine couldn't see him, exposed to the marrow as he was. With full force of voice and heart Kurt sang the crescendo that built in the music before pulling back, his voice the lone sound, just as he envisioned it with Burke alone on stage, "I could love you, if you would just see me." The room was silent before erupting into applause.

Kurt bowed overwhelmed by the applause. His heart raced as he scanned the room, letting his eyes rove, not able to take in all the faces before him. He willed himself not to look to the back where he knew that Blaine sat but his eyes danced over there momentarily of their own will. Blaine stood along clapping a staccato rhythm a small smile on his face. Before Kurt could think any longer about what his reaction was to the song, his father pulled him into a hug. Burt clapped him soundly on the back, pulling Kurt’s focus solely on him and his familiar tight embrace. The room quieted and Kurt turned his attention to Madam Tibideaux who was now standing at her table.

“Thank you Kurt.” She said nodding to him. “And thank you everyone. There will now be a brief intermission while I deliberate.” With nothing else she walked regally from the room as it erupted once more into noise as people gave their own commentary on who they thought the winner should be. Before Kurt could give a moments thought on Blaine, Carole had pulled him into another hug, her tears wetting his cheek.

“Damn son,” Burt said beside him, “That was one great song. You really wrote that huh?”

“Just the words, Blaine did everything else,” Kurt told him.

“Just the words, you say that like it’s nothing. It’s no time to be modest, this is your time to shine.” Burt laughed. “So are going to get to meet this partner of yours?”

Kurt didn’t like the emphasis his dad put on the word partner but decided to let the matter go for now. He knew if he protested he would feign innocence and claim Kurt was the one making a big deal about it. That would lead to more questions that Kurt wasn’t sure if he was ready to answer, not to Burt and not face to face with the man who could tell with one look if he was lying. Instead he said, “He’s around here somewhere,” as he scanned the crowd once more. Blaine however was no where to be seen.

As they waited for Madam Tibideaux to return and announced the winner, Kurt stood with his parents talking about the other performances trying to pass the time and not let the nerves get the better of him. There was nothing more he could do now but wait. Every once in a while they would be interrupted by a classmate, or someone else who wanted to congratulate Kurt on his performance. Each time Burt and Carole stood by beaming at him, pride clear in their faces.

When Carmen Tibideaux walked back into the room, Kurt’s stomach flipped unpleasantly. Shaking, he sat down in his chair. He wasn’t ready to hear the results, he wanted a few more minutes of basking in his performance before tainting it with yet another loss. He wasn’t so lucky, for as soon as she took the stage and the room quieted she spoke. “Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight you have seen the best of the best NYADA has to offer. As many of you know it is quite the honor just to be invited to perform here, however, there can only be one winner. They have truly gone above and beyond what any imagined them doing when they first applied to our school. I am sure the world will continue to be amazed. They are one to keep an eye on in the future. This years Winter Showcase winner is… Mr. Kurt Hummel.”

Kurt felt numb where he sat, he couldn’t have possibly heard  Madam Tibideaux correctly. He felt his dad urging him to stand while his step-mom kissed him on the cheek on his other side. He looked up at Madam Tibideaux who was smiling down at him expectantly and suddenly it hit him. He did it, he had won. Kurt got to his feet, his whole body thrumming with the excitement of it. He made his way to Carmen Tibideaux where she stood center stage. “Well done, Mr. Hummel,” she said, “I can’t wait to see what else you have in store for us.”

Kurt was soon engulfed by many well wishers. He could hardly keep up with what each person said to him as they demanded a bit of his attention. After what seemed like hours, the crowd began to disperse. When only a few still remained waiting for their turn with him, he felt a tug on his hand before he was brought into a warm hug. Blaine was there.

“I don’t want to take up more of your time, not when everyone finally knows how amazing you are, and with your family waiting for you… but I had to tell you that… you were breathtaking up there.”

Kurt could feel his heart beat quicken and inhaled quickly trying to calm himself. Blaine was too close and with all the other adrenaline coursing through his body it was too much. After weeks of only fleeting interactions, Blaine was here, and Kurt was high on his win and felt weak from pouring out his emotions for all to see. Part of Kurt wanted to sprint away, wanted to hide from it all and not emerge until he had himself under control. Another almost greater part of him wanted to grab Blaine and kiss him within an inch of his life, wanted to test his night of luck and success and try to win that elusive gift of love. Instead he stood there his heart in his throat clogging any words he wanted to speak. Feeling stupid, it was Blaine after all, the ease of conversation and interaction between them was one of the many things that drew him to Blaine. Kurt cleared his throat and said, “Thank you. I couldn’t have done it without you though.”

Blaine rubbed the nape of his neck, “No, that was all you up there.”

“But you wrote the music,” Kurt laughed feeling light and giddy once more. Blaine was acting as if nothing had changed. Maybe his secret was still safe.

“I should let you get back,” Blaine said pointing to the few people that still stood waiting for a word with Kurt. “You are leaving in the morning for Ohio, right?”

“Bright and early.” Kurt told him smiling.

Blaine returned his smile, “Then I will talk to you when you get back,” he said.

“Absolutely.” Kurt agreed. He knew that after the break he would be ready to get back to work finishing their musical.

Blaine turned to walk away, his hands in his pockets. He paused for a moment, and Kurt watched him, wanting just a minute more with Blaine. He was caught watching when Blaine turned back to him but didn’t have time to feel panic or even blush before Blaine was saying his name.

“Yes?”

Blaine held a piece of paper out to him, “This is for you.” Kurt barely closed his fingers around it before Blaine as rushing out of the room.

Kurt made to open the paper, but someone else called his name, leading him into another conversation. He stuffed the slip into his pocket and turned his full attention to the person in front of him.

Hours later Kurt trudged into his apartment, bone tired but unable to let himself give into his bed calling to him from across the room. He was only there to change clothes and grab his suitcases before heading to Lima for three weeks for his Christmas break. It felt like he had spent hours in the round room meeting people and introducing his own family. Afterwards, Burt and Carole had taken him out for a celebratory frozen hot chocolate as they waited to whittle away their time before making their way to the airport. They had only just dropped him off before they headed to their hotel to collect their own luggage.

Kurt glanced once more towards his bed before grabbing his travel clothes and made his way to the bathroom to change and freshen up. He knew he would be able to catch a few hours of sleep on the plane, and that was his only consolation. Once changed, he checked his jacket pockets not wanting to leave anything behind he might need like his chapstick, or whatever else may have made its way into them. In his left he did find his favorite lip balm. When he reached into the right though he pulled his hand back as a piece of paper sliced deftly through the thin skin of his finger. Kurt pulled his finger into his mouth sucking away the sliver of blood that seeped through the small cut and tried to think what it could be. He knew he had carefully placed his program in his messanger bag, not wanting to chance it getting crumpled in his pocket, or forgotten on the table. He knew he wanted to remember this night forever. Rather than ponder the mystery any further, he carefully pulled the paper from his pocket. The lined paper was folded neatly, but creases crisscrossed it from abuse riding around in his pocket had caused.

Kurt then remembered Blaine passing him a piece of paper before rushing out of the room. A fond smile sprang to Kurt’s lips unbidden as he thought of Blaine’s enthusiastic praise of his performance. He opened the page, not knowing what to expect, but the words written there made Kurt sit on his bed in shock. I see you, I always have -Blaine.

Kurt sat there staring at the words not able to wrap his head around what Blaine could mean by them. Surely he didn’t mean what Kurt thought, hoped, they meant. Kurt was just once more reading too much into the situation. He glanced to the clock 3:27 but still picked up the phone to call Blaine, he couldn’t leave a note like that and not expect a bewildered phone call. Then Kurt remembered Blaine’s parting words, ‘I will talk to you when you get back.’ If Blaine was confessing what Kurt’s mind had leapt to, wouldn’t he want to hear from Kurt sooner than later? Wouldn’t he simply say, ‘talk to you later’? Instead he had said they would talk when Kurt got back.

Before Kurt could decide what to do a knock broke the silence of the apartment. His dad was here to whisk him away to Ohio.

Kurt’s mind continued to whirl back to Blaine as they made their way to the airport, and traversed the intricate process before making it to their gate. His father kept shooting him strange looks, but said nothing as they waited for their plane to board. Kurt’s thoughts leapt from one possibility to another. He couldn’t decide if he was making too much out of the note or not enough. He mindlessly followed his parents onto the plane, stowed his carry on and then plopped into his seat by the window. He was a bit surprised when his dad’s larger form sat down next to him instead of Carole, but didn’t think anymore about it.

Once the plane was in the air, Burt turned towards him. “You want to tell me what’s on your mind?”  he asked leveling his son with a concerned look.

Kurt shook himself out of his thoughts, “What?”

“Before we dropped you off at your place, I could hardly get you to shut up. But now I can hardly get you to grunt out a single sentence. So, you want to tell me what changed?” Burt said.

Kurt shook his head once more, “Nothing happened, what makes you think that. I’m just tired.”

Burt laughed, “Bud, I have known you all your life, this ain’t just tired. When you’re tired you may take a while to say something and take your time saying it, but you are never like this. No this is your ‘I am trying to figure something out and I am too stubborn to talk about it’ act.” Kurt rolled his eyes, more annoyed that his dad knew him so well than anything else. “So tell me what’s on your mind.”

Kurt sighed, he knew he needed to talk to someone about this, knew that another perspective would be nice. However, he wasn’t sure if his father was the right person to bring this up with. His dad knew little to nothing about his dating history and knew even less about Kurt’s insecurities surrounding it. Kurt half wished that Elliot was sitting next to him instead. Kurt let himself imagine Elliot’s reaction if he actually admitted to liking someone again, especially compounded with the fact that Kurt even toyed with the idea that they may like him back. He could see him whooping, hollering and pulling him into a great big bear hug before sitting him down and telling him to go for it. Kurt looked again at his dad sitting there expectantly and knew he couldn’t talk his way out of this one.

“Okay, Okay, I’ll tell you,” Kurt began, “but you have to promise me not to… I don’t know… be weird about it.”

Burt nodded but looked offended that Kurt could even suspect such a thing.

“Okay, well there is this guy…” he began again but paused waiting to see if Burt would say anything. Unbidden the memory of Burt telling him that he wasn’t ready to talk about boys sprung to Kurt’s mind. He huffed a small laugh at the memory earning a confused look from his dad. “I really like him, but I didn’t think anything could happen between us.”

“Why not?”  Burt looked even more confused by this.

Kurt sighed, “He’s this amazing guy; handsome, smart, talented… and I’m…”

“A great catch,” his dad finished for him. Seeing Kurt’s annoyance he continued, “I may not know what a guy looks for in another guy, but don’t sell yourself short kid. You remind me so much of your mom sometimes… she never saw just how beautiful she was. I swear I used to tell her everyday how gorgeous she was. She’d just roll her eyes and tell me to stop flirtin’.” Kurt made to interrupt but  Burt talked over him. “AND I haven’t ever met smarter than you. You were in the top of your class without even trying.”

“Wasn’t that hard…” Kurt tried again. but before he could begin his rant on the McKinley educational system Burt cut him off again.

“And Kurt, as you proved to a room full of people tonight, you are amazing. You wrote that song, and THEN performed the hell out of it. So don’t try and tell me that anyone out there wouldn’t be itching at the chance to date you.”

“That’s the thing dad,” Kurt told him, careful not to raise his voice and disturb those sleeping around them. “No one has ever been itching for a chance to date me. In fact I haven’t been on a date in almost three years. Guys don’t see me that way, they just don’t.”

Burt leveled him with a stern look, “Kurt I know I may not be the brightest bulb there is, but I know what I saw tonight. Didn’t you see it?”

“See what dad?” Kurt asked exasperated with the conversation already.  

“The way people were looking at you. You do realize that not all of those people were just fawning over your talent right?” Kurt looked at his father like he might have just lost his mind completely. Burt rolled his eyes at his son’s thickheadedness. “I know I saw at least five guys trying to chat you up, asking all sorts of questions, kept touching our arm, looking you up and down, a few girls too. I have to admit, it made me a little uncomfortable seeing people so obviously checking out my child. Hell, that Blaine kid couldn’t keep his eyes off you the entire time he was in the room. Every time I looked over he was watching you a big dopey grin on his face.”

Kurt could hardly believe what his dad was saying. It didn’t matter to him what he said about the other people Burt thought were checking him out, flirting with him; his mind stuck on what he said about Blaine. If what his dad said was true, did that mean that Blaine’s little note meant what he thought?

Understanding dawned on Burt’s face as he watched Kurt. He broke him out of his new round of thoughts saying, “It’s Blaine isn’t it. The guy you like, it's Blaine"

Kurt bit his lip. "Yeah, but it's more complicated than that, I mean, we work together."

Before he could speak further Burt interrupted. "That song you wrote, it was for him wasn't it?"

Kurt didn't know how to explain to his dad, but words flowed out of his mouth without thought. "I didn't think he noticed me. I mean, yes, we talked, we worked together but I just... it was so easy and before I knew it I was falling for him. I really like him and now..."

"Now what?" Burt asked.

“Tonight, before he left he gave me this," he said producing the now crumpled note from his new jacket pocket. "And now I don't know what to do or think."

Burt read the note. "I don't see what the problem is here Bud."

"Before he gave that to me, he told me he would talk to me when I got back. But I don't want to wait three weeks to talk to him about this. What if I am thinking something different than what he is? I don't want to spend three weeks thinking and dreaming of something that is never going to happen."

"But this isn't something to discuss over the phone." Burt added summing up Kurt's problem succinctly.

"No. I mean if I am going to admit to liking someone I would at least like the option to kiss them if I want," Kurt said louder than he meant throwing his hands into the air in exasperation. On Burt's other side, Carole laughed before blushing and feigning sleep once more. Fondness for his parents bubbled up inside Kurt. He wished he would have talked to either of them months ago about this. Maybe then he wouldn't be in this situation now.

"So what should I do? I mean I can' trust leave him hanging with no response until I get back, can I?" Kurt asked finally ready to listen to what his dad had to say.

"Why can't you just text him and tell him when your flight gets in. Ask to see him then. I'm sure he will understand the delay and it leaves the ball in his court if he doesn't."

Firm plan in place, Kurt rolled over facing the window. Watching the darkness with his father's soft snores behind him, he drifted of to sleep his mind relatively free of worries.

Once they landed and made their way to Carole's car in the long term parking lot, Kurt sent a text.

My plane lands January 3rd at 9:05

He was surprised when another text pinged back almost immediately.

Need me to pick you up?

No, but meet me at my place @ 10:45? We can talk then

Kurt wondered that he was being too cryptic and Blaine would worry. However, his enthusiastic reply eased his fears.

Fantastic! Can't wait to see you!

Kurt smiled as he typed his final reply.

Me either! See you soon!

Christmas break was spent wholly different than Kurt had planned. He intended to help his dad in the garage, both to ease his Dad's work load and to earn extra cash to make up for the work he was missing at the diner. Instead, Kurt found himself holed up in his room in front of his computer. He knew how he wanted the play to end regardless of how things worked out for Blaine and himself. He drew the story out. Chris and Rocco alone together. Chris not living up to the expectations Rocco set for him after their initial conversations. Chris' confession of the deceit trying to win Rocco's heart. He wrote scene after scene only noting where the songs would be before moving on. He wanted to write the songs with Blaine, completely together. No longer did he want Blaine to add music to embellish Kurt's words, he wanted to sit side by side creating the magic together.

He pushed away fears that it wouldn't work out, that he was blowing everything out of proportion and let himself believe. He dreamt and he wrote and as the time passed ever closer to seeing Blaine again, Rocco approached Burke. Kurt's hands shook as the characters confessed their love. He could almost hear phantom music swelling as he typed the words 'they kiss.'

Kurt looked down at the clock on his computer. 11:33 December 31, 2016. It was finished, at least the part Kurt fretted over. After writing almost non-stop with just a few breaks to eat, sleep, spend time with his family and celebrate the holiday together, the first draft was done. He had a script, now he just needed Blaine. Not just to complete and add to the play but in his life. Kurt picked up his phone and sent a text.

Happy New Year Blaine!  May 2017 be the best yet!

Happy New Year to you too! See you soon!

I look forward to it!

Kurt locked his phone and joined his family downstairs for a celebratory glass of champagne.

Saying goodbye to Burt and Carole was easier than Kurt expected. He knew he would see them soon and he had so much to look forward to returning to New York. Kurt was filled with even more optimism than when he had first moved to the city.

Unfortunately actually leaving Ohio was proving almost impossible. First, even for five in the morning the airport was packed and getting through security took longer than Kurt could have imagined. Still, he made it to his gate in plenty of time to board his plane without worry. The only problem was even though his plane was set to depart in twenty minutes the doors were still shut tight. He looked up to the screen holding all flight information only to see delayed flashing beside his flight number. He calmly waited in line at the counter to ask for more information. He learned that they were fixing a small problem with the plane but that they should be allowed to leave close to the scheduled departure time. Kurt pulled his phone out intent on letting Blaine know the situation only to see that it was almost dead. Kurt knew he plugged it up the night before, but obviously something had happened during the night. He tried valiantly to send one last text, but the screen went black before he could hit send.  

By the time Kurt made it back to New York he was in a panic, he was supposed to meet Blaine across town at his apartment twenty minutes ago and he had no way of letting him know what was wrong. He hurried off the plane knowing that he would have to wait for his bags no matter how quickly he got to baggage claim . As he stepped into the area though, he heard his name.

“Kurt!” Kurt spun around to see Blaine rushing towards him.

“Oh my god, Blaine, what are you doing here!?!” Kurt cried a mixture of relief and excitement making his heart thump wildly in his chest.

Blaine stopped short, Kurt saw his arms lift slightly as if he were going to pull Kurt into them but they lowered just as quickly. He breathed out, shaking his head, before saying, “I was so excited to see you, I might have looked up your flight information this morning when I woke up.” Blaine shrugged his shoulders and a light blush colored his cheek. Seeing Blaine so open and vulnerable made Kurt want to take him into his arms and kiss him senseless. Before he could obey the thought, Blaine continued. “When I saw your flight was going to be delayed I tried to text you, but you never answered. And well… I didn’t want to wait any longer than I had to to see you.”

Kurt felt breathless when he replied. “I’m glad you’re here. I was so worried…” A loud buzz interrupted him as the conveyor belt behind them began running spitting out luggage for the crowd milling around him.

“Why don’t we grab your bags and then we can maybe grab something to eat?” Blaine asked biting his lip. Kurt pulled his eyes away from the sight and nodded.

They stood side by side as they waited for Kurt’s bag. They walked together through the airport making small talk. The normalcy was killing Kurt, he wanted to really talk to Blaine. This idle chitchat was setting him on edge. He was ready to scream by the time they slid into a cab to take them closer to home. Blaine then turned to him and said, his eyes crinkled, “I missed you.”

Kurt couldn’t hold in his smile as he easily replied, “I missed you too.” Just saying that seemed to ease some of the tension Kurt felt was bearing down on him and he relaxed more into their easy banter. The taxi dropped them off at a small cafe just around the corner from Kurt’s apartment building. If Kurt had had his way he would have gotten to take a long hot shower to wash away the stale air of the plane and his nerves before meeting Blaine. However, standing together as they waited to be seated, Kurt couldn’t have imagined a better morning. Blaine kept glancing over at him with cute squinty smiles as they waited for the hostess to acknowledge them. Each time their eyes met, Kurt had to tramp down the urge to confess everything he felt for the man. Only the thought that the entryway to a New York cafe was not the place for such declarations stalled him.

He didn’t have to wait much longer for the subject to be broached, almost as soon as the waitress left with their lunch order did Blaine blurt, “You did read my note, right?”

Kurt watched the color rise on Blaine’s face for a moment before gently laying his hand on top of his where it sat on the table. “I did. I kind of wanted to talk about that.” He felt his own face grow hot.

“Great!” Blaine said awkwardly. “I just… I thought you did, but I wanted to be sure. I… I understand if you don’t feel the same way. I mean it has been so long and I almost gave up hope… but then you sang that song, our song and I just…”

Kurt’s mind stumbled trying to listen to Blaine. He knew it took him a while to work through his feelings, to get the courage to admit them even to himself; but it had only been four months, that wasn’t that long. “I don’t understand… we only met in September, I don’t have the best track record with guys, you have to cut me some slack.” Kurt tried to laugh to show he was only a little serious, but it fell short  when Blaine ducked his head in a bashful way.

“Kurt…” The way Blaine said his name with such purpose and longing set Kurt’s heart racing. He looked at Kurt with such sincere eyes that he couldn’t have looked away if he tried. “for almost two years I have been trying to work up the courage to even talk to you. Honestly, if Madam Tibideaux wouldn’t have paired us together for this contest, I don’t know if I ever would have worked up the nerve to introduce myself.”

Kurt was reeling with this new information. He couldn’t understand what Blaine was talking about. Blaine was brave and talented and everyone’s dream, why would he be worrying about someone like Kurt. He was just Kurt, who never held anyone’s interest for long. “I don’t understand,” he said feebly not knowing what else to do.

Blaine continued to blush sweetly, but flipped his hand over so he was holding Kurt’s. “Do you remember that workshop a couple of years ago that you helped Madam Tibideaux with, the one where you performed?”

Kurt nodded, he did. Carmen had approached him and a few other student to take part in mock auditions. It was nerve wracking being put through the stress of an audition and having every move you made commented on to a room full of people.

“I was there,” Blaine told him. “I was just one of the students in the workshop, not like you. You… you were amazing and I just… from then on I… I had a crush. I wanted to talk to you but…”

“But what?” Kurt asked. He couldn’t believe that Blaine had been interested for that long.

“I was scared you would think I was crazy or pathetic I guess. I just could never work up the balls to walk up to you. We didn’t really have any of the same friends, so I couldn’t have them introduce us. I would see you around campus… god, do you know how beautiful you are? How strong and mesmerizing? I couldn’t just walk up to you.”

“I wish you would have,” Kurt whispered. He had been so lonely for so long, felt so dismissed as a person and a sexual being outside of the pulsing lights of a club. Just knowing that someone might see him as more, might be interested in talking to him, or getting to know him… Then Kurt thought about what he would have done; he wouldn’t have trusted that Blaine was sincere, even with his open and honest hazel eyes. He would have doubted and closed himself off.

“I’m not” Blaine stated plainly and Kurt’s eyes widened. “When Carmen said I would be working with you, that felt right. None of those other times did. I got to get to know you, the real you, without the pressure of, I don’t know, impressing you. As much as I would have liked to know you sooner, I’m glad I got to know you the way I did.”

Kurt could feel tears stinging his eyes, but he held them in. “I think I am too now that you mention it. I probably would have thought it was a joke. I fought it for so long.” Kurt closed his eyes for a minute. When he opened them he looked straight in Blaine’s eyes and said, “I like you Blaine, and I would like nothing better than for this to be a real date, if you’d like?”

Blaine’s smile was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen when he answered. “I would love that Kurt.”

Not long after, their food arrived, almost as if the waitress had waited until their moment was over not wanting to break the mood. They sat and talked easily about their break and Christmas, ready to leave the heavy topic behind them for a moment. Kurt loved how he could just fall into a conversation with Blaine. He had not felt this level of comfort with anyone outside of his family in a long time. Blaine gave him an exasperated sigh when he insisted on paying, as if this was an argument they had often. Kurt fondly took his hand as they left, hopeful that maybe now things could always be this easy for them.

As they walked the short distance back to Kurt’s apartment, pulling his suitcase behind them, Kurt confessed something he had wanted to say since reading Blaine’s note. “You do know that I wrote that song for you, right?” he asked.

Blaine squeezed his hand, smiling at him and answered. “I hoped. When you first showed it to me… it felt like you had gotten into my head and stole everything I wanted to say to you. I have never been great expressing myself with words, I have always been better with music. I poured everything of me in that song, I guess I hoped you would finally see me.”

“Seeing you was never my problem,” Kurt said as he let them into his apartment building. “At least once I met you.” he added still marveling at the fact that Blaine had noticed him long before they met.

“Yeah?” Blaine asked.

Kurt led them up to his apartment as he answered. “My hesitance was never because of you. I honestly thought you could never see me that way. When I couldn’t convince myself any longer that I didn’t like you… I had to say something, but wasn’t brave enough to do it myself. I thought you liked someone else, you were talking about the guy you liked… I didn’t think it was me. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, wanting you to really notice me… it was then I realized that Burke must feel the same way. I wanted to shout it to you, that I was here and… I let Burke sing it instead.”

Kurt had just put his key in the lock to his door, when Blaine tugged his arm so Kurt was facing him. “God Kurt hearing you sing that song… you looked at me and it felt like you had ripped my heart out of my chest. You were standing there in that room full of people and I could feel everything. You moved me Kurt, and I knew that I couldn’t stay quiet any longer. Even if you didn’t like me back, even if the song wasn’t for me, I couldn’t let you feel invisible, unlovable, not for one second longer. But I couldn’t get you alone. You won and everyone saw how amazing you are, and I… I couldn’t pull you away from that. That’s when I wrote you the note. But I couldn’t say everything I wanted to say. So… Kurt Hummel, I see you, I always have. And my heart is yours if you will have it.”

Kurt stood mesmerized by the honest emotion Blaine presented without fear. He couldn’t think of a proper answer, he just nodded his head dumbly before cupping Blaine’s cheek and pulling him in for a kiss.

The moment their lips touched, Kurt felt as if he were parched and only Blaine could quench him. He lost himself in the sensation of lips, tongue and teeth. There in front of his door they kissed for long minutes unable to get enough of the other. A door slamming down the hall pulled them out of their bubble. “Would you like to come in?” Kurt said surprised by the gravelly quality of his voice.

Once inside, Kurt wasn’t sure what to do with himself. He felt too giddy and too wound up; he couldn’t still himself. He flitted from the front door, to the bedroom to place his luggage away, then back to the living room, only pausing for a moment before turning to his small kitchen ready to offer Blaine a drink. His movement was halted by Blaine grabbing his elbow. “Hey, are you okay?” he asked clearly concerned.

Kurt couldn’t help his disbelieving chuckle at the question. “Yeah, I’m just happy and I hoped, but I didn’t really think…”

Blaine’s face softened once more, “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

Kurt could feel how huge his smile must be but couldn’t contain it. In that moment he felt like he could do anything, he felt like dancing. He decided that was just what they should do. He rushed over to his stereo and turned the radio on blasting. “Dance with me,” he laughed at Blaine holding his hand out to him. There in Kurt’s livingroom they danced. They lost themselves in the music, each other and their own happiness. The music didn’t matter, it wasn’t the point; they hopped around to the peppiest pop songs, swayed to the slow ballads and even moved along to the jingles and babbling during the commercial breaks. They danced until their legs felt like the would give out, smiles still on their faces. Only then did they collapse on the couch. After their impromptu dance party, they cuddling together on the couch Kurt finally getting to show Blaine what he had done with the script.

It amazed Kurt how uncomplicated the transition from friends and writing partners to boyfriends was. As the days and weeks passed they spent more time together, meeting up whenever their busy schedules allowed. They saw a lot of each other. When school started up again, they had all their master classes together, and they spent time revising the script and working on the second act songs. They also went on dates. It amazed Kurt, all of it. They still argued from time to time about the play, clashed over the direction of a song, but any hurt feelings were soothed by kisses afterwards.

One afternoon near the end of February, they lay sprawled on the floor papers spread around them. Blaine’s guitar across his lap. He was strumming snippets as Kurt tried to rework a line of the song that just didn’t seem to flow right.

“I think we may actually do this,” Blaine said, pulling Kurt’s focus to him. “Win this I mean.”

Kurt smiled, “I think we could too. If I can just get this to work.”

“Let me see it again,” he pulled the lyrics closer to him trying to match them to the music he was playing. “I only had to open my eyes to see you,” Blaine sang.

“It doesn’t feel right,” Kurt complained. “I don’t know what is wrong with it but… damn it! This is the last song we have left. If we could get this right, I think we could give it to Madam Tibideaux to send in. We only have three weeks until the deadline.”

“We’ll get it, don’t worry Kurt.” Blaine soothed, trying to grab his hand.

Kurt flailed it, however, out of his reach. “I just everything else flows so well and this… it’s so clunky, it doesn’t fit, but I don’t know what else to do.”

“Well let’s talk through it.” Blaine said with patience, “Rocco is trying to confess how he feels for Burke. How much he loves him, because he only fell for Chris because of his words, which were Burkes.”

“Yes,” Kurt said frustratedly.

“I heard the words, I felt the love I know is true,” Blaine sang the line leading into the problem area. “When my eyes were closed my heart could see you.”

“Oh my god, that’s it!” Kurt squealed standing up in his enthusiasm. “Blaine, you did it. That’s perfect. I can’t believe… we’re done… we are, we’re finished!”

“I think we are.” Blaine agreed laying his guitar to join Kurt as he danced around the room hopping over the papers at their feet.

“Oh my god Blaine,” Kurt said again his smile huge and his heart fit to burst. “I love you. I love you Blaine Anderson.”

He threw his arms around Blaine’s shoulders and pulled him into a searing kiss. They swayed and kissed until their smiles made it impossible. “I love you too, Kurt.” Blaine said once they pulled apart.

Kurt Hummel sat shifting anxiously in his chair. Through the door he could hear the low drone of voices, the words were unclear, but the nervousness and excitement in them was palpable. He was on edge and needed a distraction, but there was nothing left for him to do. He grabbed a tissue from its box where it sat on the table, needing something to occupy his hands so he didn’t start messing with anything more important. By the time a knock came to the door the tissue lay scattered in shreds across the work top.

“Yes?” he called, sure it was time already.

When the door opened though, Blaine Anderson stood there, just as handsome as he was when Kurt caught his first glimpse of him three years ago. “How are you doing?” he asked, clearly knowing Kurt and how he got when he was nervous.

“Shouldn’t you be getting ready?” Kurt fretted ignoring the question.

Blaine laughed and the sound eased Kurt’s soul a bit. “I have been ready for the last twenty minutes, but I was just now able to sneak away to see you.” He closed the space and pulled Kurt into a kiss. Kurt relaxed into the familiar sensation the last of his nervous energy calmed in his lover’s embrace.

“Are you ready?” Blaine asked when he pulled away.

“I think I am.” Kurt said trying to pull Blaine closer.

“It’s a big night, a Hummel-Anderson musical premier.” Blaine teased with a smile.

“We’ve still only written the one, so I think it is more aptly names THE Hummel-Anderson musical premier.” Kurt teased back. It wasn’t Broadway, not yet, but opening an off-Broadway show that you not only wrote but are also starring in was huge. Kurt was nervous and excited and ecstatic all rolled into one. Winning the contest, two years ago had opened so many doors for the pair, but getting this opportunity was by far the best.

“I like the sound of that.” Blaine said pulling Kurt from this thoughts.

“The sound of what?” Kurt asked confused.

“Ten minutes!” Called the stage manager as she passed by Kurt’s dressing room, if she was bothered by the two stars sharing a moment before opening, she didn’t say a thing.

“Hummel-Anderson. I love the way that sounds… almost as much as I love you.” Blaine said his eyes holding Kurt’s. He was about to tease Blaine about being cheesy when he stepped away and lowered himself to one knee.

“We have already done amazing things together Kurt, and I want to continue doing amazing things with you. I want the Hummel-Anderson duo to be more than just an amazing writing and acting partnership. I want to be your partner for life. Will you marry me Kurt?” Blaine asked holding out a beautiful silver band.

“Yeah, of course,” Kurt said pulling the love of his life back to his feet and kissing him soundly.

Before Blaine could place the ring on his finger Kurt exclaimed, “Oh my god, Blaine, I can not believe you actually asked me to marry you ten minutes before curtain. We want this show to be a success, how do you expect me to concentrate on the show now!”

“I just… I couldn’t wait another minute to ask you. I planned to ask you after the show but… I was sitting in my dressing room and I had to see you.”

They both examined the band now resting on Kurt’s ring finger. “I love you,” Kurt told him, kissing him once more. “I can’t wait to begin this adventure with you.”

“Places!” The stage manager called.

“I hate to take it off,” Kurt said removing the ring from his finger that had been placed there just moments before.

Blaine grabbed his hand as they walked out the door, “It’s okay, it just means that I am about to get to fall in love with you all over again. And I get to do it over and over, not just in the show, but forever.”

Kurt kissed him once more, unable to resist the man standing before him. Maybe Madam Tibideaux knew what she was doing that day. Kurt had always had his suspicions. Either way Kurt couldn’t thank her enough for helping to bring this man into his life.

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